What to Do if You Regret Breaking Up With Someone (50+ Tips) (2024)

Breaking up with someone can be incredibly tough and heartbreaking, regardless of how long you were together. However, it’s much more difficult if you are left wondering if you made the right decision.

It’s normal to experience painful emotions when going through a breakup. But if you’re consumed with regret breaking up with them, don’t worry — we’re here to help.

According to experts, here are several things to do to manage your emotions and start feeling better:


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Relationship Expert | Private Practice Therapist | Author, “Beyond Words: A Child’s Journey Through Apraxia

Finding a connection isn’t easy, so when we do, it’s not surprising our feelings about it are complex. It’s normal after you’ve ended things to still feel connected to your ex. There should be some careful consideration before deciding whether or not to give it another chance.

Related: Should You Get Back Together with Your Ex? (Advice from 8 Relationship Experts)

Try these practical strategies to help you figure out what the healthiest option is for you:

Put your feelings to the test

We can say things we don’t mean when our emotions are high.

Step back and look at the history of the relationship:

  • Were things breaking down for a while?
  • Did the breakup happen in the heat of the moment?

Take out some paper and write down all the issues in the relationship. Being concrete can help us work through the emotional aspects and stay more grounded. As you look through the list, think about the kind of relationship you want to be in. Do you see the future you want for yourself?

Being in a relationship gives us a sense of stability, but if it’s toxic, that false sense of security will eventually take us away from who we are meant to be. Looking at your list, do you see red flags?

Related: Can Toxic Relationships Be Healed?

Consider it as an opportunity to reflect on things you want to change

Sometimes our anxiety gets in the way and can interfere with our commitment. Many of us have issues from past relationships that we bring with us. Consider a breakup an opportunity to reflect on things you want to improve or change.

Heal your past by not repeating old patterns

If you can recognize a pattern, it might be time to lean into that and talk with a professional. Healing our past can help us to ensure we don’t repeat old patterns.

Also, remember, just because we have a connection with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they are the one. That can be hard for us to accept, but people come into our lives for all different reasons. We learn the most about ourselves in relation to others. So, give yourself time to consider what you have learned and apply it.

Growth takes place at times in our life when we are uncomfortable

We don’t know what could be around the corner, but we do know where we have been. Comfort is a major reason we stay in relationships longer than we should. But we also know that growth takes place at times in our life when we are uncomfortable.

Have you settled in the past? Be honest with yourself. It’s okay to require more from the relationships in our lives. Letting go of someone that doesn’t meet our needs can be the most compassionate thing we do. Make a list of the ‘relationship non-negotiables’ — the things you will not compromise in the future.

Be the best version of yourself to attract the right person

Sometimes it’s difficult to sort through the guilt that can accompany a breakup, especially if you called things off. Initially, we may be in shock when a relationship ends, and memory may remind us of the good times more than the bad.

Give yourself time to look critically at what went wrong and the permission to assess what you want for your future. Even though you are hurting, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you made the wrong decision, but you do need time to heal.

Related: How to Heal a Broken Heart (According to 10+ Experts)

Consider having a conversation with your ex if feelings of regret are still strong

Focus on your wellness and ensure you have friends and family you can talk to during this difficult time.

If, after time has passed, you still have strong feelings of regret, consider having a conversation with your ex. Be open to hearing their feedback and sharing what you’ve learned and what you want moving forward; don’t forget to include your non-negotiables.

After doing the self-work, trust that your relationships moving forward will have clearer guideposts and expectations, which will set you up for greater success and long-term happiness.

Dan Rosenfeld

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Social Psychologist and Dating Expert | Founder and Director,The Match Lab

Breakups are one of the most difficult psychological experiences humans go through. When you’re the one who initiated the breakup, it can be distressing to wonder whether you made the right choice.

Regretting the breakup is common, especially during the first few months as you adjust to life without your ex.

Let time pass

If you regret having broken up with someone, the most important thing you can do is let time pass.

During the first few weeks, and even several months, following a breakup, your mind is in a unique state. It takes time to clear your head from the immediate aftermath of the breakup so you can look back on the relationship more clearly.

Rediscover who you are as a single person before deciding to get back together with your ex

After a breakup, it takes time to return to your single self. Relationships change our sense of identity, our daily routines, and our social circle. After a breakup, people usually go through a transition period during which they rediscover who they are as a single person.

Related: How to Be Happy and Enjoy Being Single (According to 9 Experts)

It’s best to let that transition period happen before you make any decisions about getting back together with an ex.

Set a “no contact” rule

In most cases, it’s best to set a “no contact” rule, which is a predetermined amount of time you forbid yourself from contacting your ex after the breakup.

Generally, a “no contact” period should last at least one month. In some cases, this period may last up to a year. For most relationships, 2-3 months of no contact should be enough to allow for healthy separation and healing after a breakup.

Related: Why Is the No Contact Rule so Effective?

If you complete this, you’re in a better place to reflect on your past relationship

Once you’ve completed a period of no contact and feel that you’ve rediscovered yourself as a single person, then you’re in a better place to reflect on your past relationship and think through the pros and cons of getting back together with your ex.

Set up a meeting with your ex during the daytime and in public

Reach out to your ex and see if they’re open to meeting up to chat. Ideally, meet somewhere during the daytime, in public, without any drugs or alcohol present.

When you meet with your ex, express how you’re feeling and what the time apart since the breakup has been like for you.

Focus on sharing your perspective and give them space in the conversation to share their perspective

Remember: You don’t know what this time has been like for your ex or what your ex is feeling, so it’s best to focus on sharing your perspective and to give your ex space in the conversation to share their perspective. It’s impossible to predict how this conversation will unfold, so be ready to respect how your ex feels and accept any outcome of the conversation.

Breakups are painful enough, and if you’re not ready to accept however it is your ex feels about revisiting your relationship, then meeting up with your ex this time again could cause even more pain for you.

Related: How to Accept a Breakup You Didn’t Want and Move On (24 Great Tips)

Talk through your feelings with a therapist before contacting your ex

By letting enough time pass before you contact your ex, you can set yourself up for the best outcome for yourself, no matter what that ultimately looks like. Before contacting your ex at all, it may be useful to talk through your feelings with a therapist.

This could help you understand more clearly what deeper feelings underlie your breakup regret and how you can resolve those feelings to best care for yourself.


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Masters, Clinical Psychology | Men’s Clinical Director, Ocean Recovery

Allow yourself to feel — make contact with your ex-partner if you want

Breaking up is never easy, and it’s not uncommon to experience regret after the fact.

However, if you find yourself in a situation where you have ended a relationship but now feel like you made the wrong decision, there are steps you can take to help process your emotions and make amends if possible:

Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without judgment

First and foremost, give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without judgment.

Regret can be an uncomfortable emotion, but it can also signal that we must look more deeply into our decisions and how they impact us and others. So allow yourself some time for reflection and self-compassion as you move through this difficult process.

Be mindful of what you say to avoid hurting them further

If you want to reach out to your ex-partner, think about your communication strategy and the message you want to convey. Make sure that any apology or statement of regret is genuine, and be mindful of what you say to avoid hurting them further.

Related: I Still Love My Ex. What Should I Do? (60+ Expert Tips)

It’s important to remember that even if you do express your feelings, it doesn’t guarantee a reconciliation.

If making contact isn’t appropriate or desirable, there are other ways to process your regret:

Write down the reasons why you broke up with them

Consider writing down the reasons why you decided to break up in the first place and how they may have changed over time.

Talk to someone you trust for guidance and support

You can also talk with a trusted friend or therapist who can help provide guidance and support during this challenging period.

Focus on yourself and learn from the experience

Finally, try to focus on yourself and learn from the experience to help you become a better partner in the future. Use this opportunity to reflect on yourself and your relationships, as well as any possible patterns of behavior that might lead to similar regrets in the future.


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Sit tight and give yourself time to make sense of those intense emotions

The first thing you should do is… nothing.

It’s normal to feel bad after a breakup, and important to give yourself time to experience and make sense of those intense emotions. Conceivably, the relationship you ended had plenty of positive elements that you will, regrettably, miss. That doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision.

Clarify what makes you think about regret

See if you can identify the thoughts driving your regret.

For example, if you’re telling yourself, “I’ll never find someone else,” your regret might be fear-based and have more to do with your own self-esteem than with the person with whom you broke up.

Similarly, “I hate being alone during the holidays” or “I miss the intimacy” might be about wishing to be partnered rather than missing a specific person.

Look back and ahead of your relationship

Consider what contributed to the relationship’s end and what you envision changing. If there were significant differences that seemed irresolvable, do you now have a different stance?

Sometimes people who love each other have incompatible ideas about partnership, family, career, or other areas of their lives. Imagine how you might feel in the future if you were to compromise. Could you do so without feeling resentful or replacing one regret with another?

Related: How to Know if You’re Compatible With Someone (According to Experts)

Learn from mistakes and be kind to yourself

Maybe you will eventually conclude that you did make a mistake. Understand that we all do. It’s how we learn.

Related: How to Get Over Past Mistakes (50+ Helpful Tips)

When you are honest with yourself, the regret you feel now can help you in a future relationship — whether it’s with your ex or a new person. You’ll be better able to recognize the triggers that led to the breakup and respond with greater wisdom.

Talk to your ex; be prepared to accept that they may not feel the way you do

Talking to your ex is the last step because you should do so only once you are ready to approach with honesty, vulnerability, and accountability.

Explain what led you to break up with them and why you regret the decision. Let them know how you’d hope to handle those differences or disagreements in the future.

Don’t do all the talking; listen to your ex’s perspective. Be prepared to hear the hurt they may have experienced and to accept that they may not feel the way you do.

Aura Priscel De Los Santos

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Clinical Psychologist | Specialist,HealthCanal

If you regret breaking up with someone, here are a few tips on how to handle this decision:

Analyze the reasons that led you to end the relationship

It is possible that the moment you think it was a mistake to end the relationship, you feel desperate and quickly think that it was a bad decision.

Take two steps back and analyze the reasons that led you to end the relationship

This serves as a reminder to consider that the reasons that led you to end the relationship were necessary since they negatively affect your well-being.

Don’t blame yourself

When you feel it was a mistake to end the relationship, you can feel guilty, and it is something that you do not have to let make you feel bad.

If you decided to end the relationship, it was because you understood it was the best thing at that moment and that there was nothing wrong with regretting something.

Related: How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

Analyze what your relationship with that person was like

As in any relationship, there are difficulties. Analyze those behaviors you saw in the other person that you thought were not healthy in the relationship.

Make a list of the good and not-so-good things while you were with that person

Surely that person disrespected you, verbally mistreated you, or you discovered some infidelity. Give yourself the opportunity to close the cycle.

You may feel regretful because there hasn’t been a proper closure

You can talk to your ex in more detail about the situation, tell him how you feel and that it is something you needed as part of ending the breakup. Many times, when people do not close cycles, they are left with doubts and fail to move forward.

Katie Ziskind, BS, MA, MFT, LMFT

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Licensed Holistic Marriage and Family Therapist | Owner,Wisdom Within Counseling

If you regret breaking up with someone, that’s okay.

Figure out why you broke up in the first place

First, try to understand your goals, needs, and what you feel you regret about your decision. Try to figure out why you broke up with your partner in the first place.

They treated you poorly

Did you break up because they were treating you poorly? If so, when you are a victim of verbal or physical abuse, it’s normal to feel an abusive or toxic ex is your only source of comfort or option.

It might be best to gain skills for self-worth from counseling before reconsidering getting back with someone who betrayed you, was disrespectful, or hurtful.

You didn’t want to do long-distance

Maybe, you broke up with them because you were moving far away and didn’t want something long-distance, but you have realized you want to ask them to move across the country to be with you instead of staying broken up.

Related: 13 Tips on How to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Express your regret to them; talk about your ideal situation

If you decide your ex brightened your life, schedule a time to talk in person or over a video chat to express your regret and share your heartfelt emotions with your ex.

Talk about your ideal situation and what you want, like if you see both of you getting back together and having a future together. Depending on how sooner or later you express your regret to them, they may have already started moving on or be involved with someone new.

Work with a therapist

This may be something difficult to accept as a result of breaking up with them.

A therapist can support you in rekindling love, moving on yourself, and dealing with regret. Working with a therapist can help you clearly communicate your need and goals as well as your regret.

Feeling regretful is normal after breaking up with someone. Relationships, especially leading up to a split, can involve a range of emotions, both negative and positive. It’s completely normal for these emotions to resurface after you’ve officially ended things.

What’s important, however, is to make sure you aren’t making any emotionally-charged decisions that could be detrimental to your physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional well-being.

It’s also critical that you give yourself personal time and space to deal with these negative feelings in a healthy way.

Acknowledge that emotions are normal, temporary, and out of your control

Post-breakup emotions can range from mild to overpowering, and they often appear without warning. You might be minding your own business and enjoying your solitude at night or in the car, only for a flood of sadness, existential fear, or general loneliness to suddenly overwhelm you.

Our brains and bodies don’t like experiencing negative emotions like sadness and fear (of being alone). That’s when the sense of regret will come over you.

This regret acts as a defense mechanism to make the negative emotions go away, even if rekindling things with our old partner would be detrimental to our long-term well-being.

Relationships trigger the same chemical reactions in our brain and body as an addiction. Even in healthy relationships, we become “addicted” to the person’s positive presence in our lives.

In toxic or abusive relationships, the addictive qualities are even worse because the abuser has triggered extreme negative and extreme positive emotions through the process of love bombing followed by withholding attention or affection.

Related: Why Do People Stay In Toxic Relationships?

When your partner is no longer physically present in your life, your brain and body need time to adapt and “reset.” That’s why emotions will often appear at strange moments without warning. This is normal, and these emotions are temporary.

Remember that you don’t need to react to every emotion

Remember that your brain and body may flood you with a sense of regret post-breakup to make negative emotions like fear, sadness, and loneliness go away. This is an instinctive survival tactic out of your control.

Our brains and bodies are designed to avoid pain — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual — because pain and injury make us vulnerable to predators.

Remind yourself that you don’t need to act on every (or any) negative emotion. We live in an instant gratification society that tells us negative emotions must be repressed or “fixed” as soon as they appear.

Just because you feel an emotion like sadness or regret, that does not mean you must act to make it go away. In fact, this is an excellent opportunity to get comfortable experiencing negative emotions like fear, sadness, and grief in your own personal way.

Keep your feelings to yourself or write them down in a private physical journal

Even venting to friends about post-breakup negative emotions and regret is often detrimental because our friends may encourage us to enter toxic or abusive situations just to make the negative feelings go away.

For example, a friend might suggest getting back with your ex ‘just for a hookup,’ engaging in vindictive behavior, or going out to get drunk and bury your emotions instead of facing them head-on.

All of these behaviors repress your negative emotions only for them to resurface later, often in toxic ways or dangerous situations. Plus, these actions will trigger more negative emotions in the form of shame, guilt, and more regret.

Related: What Is the Difference Between Shame, Guilt, and Remorse?

Instead, consider writing your feelings down on paper in a journal. This will help to ‘get them out‘ without running the risk of another person taking advantage of you or manipulating you while you’re emotionally vulnerable.

Just do something else

When we feel negative emotions, it’s normal to react with impulsive indulgence.

You might want to bury yourself in ice cream, spa treatments, and food delivery or drink too much. This is another survival tactic our brains use to make negative emotions go away that is often detrimental to our personal growth and well-being.

Going overboard with indulgent activities when we feel sad or alone only makes us feel empty or bad about ourselves later.

Instead, look for genuinely positive things to do alone:

  • It helps if you pick an activity you’ve never done before because this will stimulate your brain in positive ways and encourage healthy personal growth.
  • Go to a museum you’ve never visited.
  • Take a road trip somewhere you’ve never been.
  • Go swimming or hiking.

While reading is a nice way to pass the time, it’s often not a useful activity when we are dealing with negative emotions because negative emotions interfere with our ability to focus and remember new information.

It’s best to pick a mentally or physically stimulating activity you can do alone that will get you out of the house.

Give it some time; re-evaluate after you have “reset” and healed

Regret and other post-breakup negative emotions are usually temporary. Depending on the length of the relationship, you can always re-evaluate things once your mind, body, and soul have “reset” and healed.

After some time apart, you might realize that your partner’s behavior was abusive or manipulative and decide that you no longer want to rekindle things with them. You’ll be glad you didn’t cave into the impulse to contact them.

If some time has passed, you are happy being alone, and you still miss their positive presence in your life, then it might be worthwhile to give the relationship another look or chance. But you cannot see things clearly without being happy alone first and dealing with negative emotions healthily and productively.

Julia McCurley

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Professional Matchmaker | Relationship Coach | CEO,Something More

When you make any big decision, it is natural to question yourself, especially in your personal life. Things like:

  • “Will I ever meet someone else?”
  • “I don’t want to get back out in the dating scene.”
  • “All my friends are coupled up.”

All change, even if it is largely positive, comes with some anxiety.

The first emotion you will feel after breaking up with someone is sudden loneliness you may have never felt before.

You may also be struggling with the thought of:

  • Getting back out there.
  • How you are going to meet someone.
  • What if there is no one really compatible.
  • You should just take what you can get.

Recognize what you feel is normal

The best way to process your emotions is to recognize what you feel is normal, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision.

Put some logic into your decision

Try not to dwell on your decision and focus on moving on instead. But if you are truly struggling, you may need to use your head, not your heart, to put some logic into your decision.

What was the quality of your relationship really like? It’s easy to romanticize the past and how much you loved them, but in many relationships, love is not enough.

Use the “Ben Franklin” decision-making model

My number one decision-making tool that I have used with many clients is called a “Ben Franklin.” He invented this decision-making model, which is widely used to this day. Basically, it is a take on a pro-con list.

Remember, it used to be that if the pros outweigh the cons, then you made the right decision. It is now known as a “T-chart.”

Ben Franklin’s technique is after you write down your pro-con list, you rate the importance of each one. When you make an effort to write down all the pros and cons, you are actually forcing your brain to realize all the positive and negative aspects of the decision you have difficulty making:

  1. Give each pro and con a score based on their importance. Score each of them on a scale of 1 to 5.
  2. See which side ends up having a higher score, in the end, to come to your final decision.

You can still use this technique even after you have broken up with someone.

If it turns out that this Ben Franklin exercise resulted in that you should stay with the person, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are the reasons valid? Ask your friends.

Outsiders don’t have the answers, but they do have perspective. In other words, the regret you’re experiencing might be because you miss the person and not necessarily because you still want to be in a relationship with them.

  • Did you try to make it work?

If you tried compromising, adjusting your mindset, or talking through your problems and things still didn’t work out, then don’t feel bad about ending the relationship.

  • Do I really miss the person or just miss being in a relationship?

If the only reason for wanting to get back together is that you love and miss your ex, remember that all the reasons you broke up are still there even if you get back together. Even if this breakup feels like the end of the world, be confident in yourself and remember that you will make it through the sadness.

The future is hard to predict and your romantic life is no different; just remember that there is more than one person out there you can fall in love with.

When any relationship ends, one thing is for sure — you will have learned a lot about yourself and will be clearer about what you really want moving forward.

AJ Silberman-Moffitt

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Senior Editor,Tandem

There are many times in life when we second-guess ourselves:

  • “Do I like how I look in this new hair color?”
  • “Should I have accepted that position at a new company?”
  • “Why did I break up with my partner?”

That last question can be painful, especially if you are now regretting that you broke up with them.

What can you do if you regret breaking up with someone?

Examine why you broke up

To examine why you broke up with a person, you need to delve deeper. Don’t just tell yourself, “I acted too fast,” or “I should give this a second chance.”

There might be some valid reasons why you broke up with the person in the first place. By reminding yourself about these reasons, you might validate your decision to have broken up.

If this is the case, realizing this should help you not regret that decision.

Ask your friends and family

Many members of your family, and even your closest friends, will keep their mouths shut about your partners. They don’t want to offend you if they don’t feel as great about the person you are seeing as you do.

When you break up with someone, however, these people will now begin telling you how they really feel. “He wasn’t good for you,” “She always only thought of herself,” and “I just didn’t trust them” are things you might start to hear from them. Maybe breaking up was the right thing to do.

Ask yourself the tough questions

What do I mean by tough questions? Questions that you need to honestly answer because, if you don’t, you might end up in the same place sooner rather than later.

Some tough questions can include:

  • “Do I really miss my old partner, or do I just miss having them around?”
  • “Am I merely scared of being single and entering the dating scene again?”
  • “Is it that I don’t miss them, and I am merely lonely?”

Once you have done the above, you may realize that it was a good thing the two of you broke up. On the other hand, what if you realize that you truly regret breaking up? Is there anything you can do at this point?

Start by talking to your ex

Though you might regret the breakup, that doesn’t mean he or she does. The two of you need to talk to each other and find out if it’s only you or if both of you want to get back together. Once you determine this, you’ll know which direction you should start going.

Know you may hear things you didn’t want to hear

Be prepared that when you have a conversation with your ex, they might tell you things you don’t want to know or never want to hear. But it’s important for you to be honest with each other if trying for a relationship again might be in the cards.

Remember that getting back together might take some time

You might want to get back with your ex right away, but they might still have reservations. This means that even if you are ready today, they might not be ready until tomorrow, next week, or next month. Have some patience, and don’t rush them into making any decisions they are not ready to make.

Whether you realize breaking up was the best thing for you or want to get back together, current and past relationships aren’t always easy. But if you keep working at it and you keep looking for what’s right for you, I’m pretty sure you can find what you are looking for.

Then, just as Kermit the Frog sings in The Rainbow Connection, “Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”


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Author | Inspirational Speaker | Spiritual Teacher | Wellness Consultant

There might be several reasons why regret happens following a breakup. I believe the most important thing to remember is why you parted in the first place. It can be easy to reminisce about the fun times, but what was the tipping point? What ultimately led to the breakup of the relationship?

“Time heals”

I believe there is a saying regarding how time heals. However, this is dependent on how much you allow the healing process to unfold or not.

Breaking up is a loss, and at its worst, can feel much like the passing of a loved one; with that, there needs to be room to grieve regardless of who did the breaking up.

This can be like a mountain to climb, especially during times when you might observe or imagine your former partner with another, seemingly happy together, which can rekindle your intimate thoughts, desires, and memories.

Related: How to Let Go of Someone You Love and Move on, According to Relationship Experts

Trust your gut instinct; it’s a powerful indicator

Consider this: Was there something about the relationship that you somehow knew it had to end?

Gut instinct is a powerful indicator, even if the mind believes otherwise. The breakup could be an opportunity for a more fulfilling and rich relationship in the future.

So give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to grieve. If, at all possible, and it is, that stage is reached, allow yourself to embrace what was great about the former relationship and desire that and much more moving forward.

On the other hand, if you come to the conclusion that you made a genuine mistake and realized that you actually do want to be with this person (for all the right reasons), then let them know.

Kristin Davin, PsyD

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Psychologist,Choosing Therapy

If you’re experiencing regret, hit the pause button before you do anything.

Ask yourself about your feelings of regret

Ask yourself the following:

  • “Why do I regret breaking up with them?”
  • “Why did I break up with them?”
  • “Was it a quick decision or something that I have been thinking about for some time?”

Examine the relationship from a different perspective

Examine the relationship from a different perspective:

  • Was the relationship unhealthy?
  • Were there things about the relationship that led you to breaking up?
  • What would you have done differently in the relationship?

Related: 10 Signs of a Good and Healthy Relationship

Be kind to yourself

You can spend your days beating yourself up while saying and thinking unkind things about yourself, but that doesn’t help you get better; you just feel worse.

In the moment of regret, we tend to look at things from a positive perspective and assign blame. Take a big step back and really think about the relationship. Where does the regret come in?

Use this time for self-reflection

Use this time for self-reflection and exploring things you want to do differently in the next relationship, eventually. How will you know you need to walk away so you can feel more complete?

Sometimes closure — how we want things to be (like talking to the person) — isn’t available; therefore, you have to create closure (whatever that means to you), then move through and move on.

Related: How to Let Go of the Past and Move On


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Founder,Parental Questions

Recognize and understand why this happened

If you regret breaking up with someone, it’s important to recognize and understand why this happened. It may be because the relationship wasn’t right for either of you in some way, or you both had different values and expectations that led to a breakup.

Take time to reflect on what went wrong in your relationship and assess how it could have been handled better.

Write an honest letter of apology

If possible, try reaching out to your ex-partner first by writing them an honest letter of apology, letting them know that while the choice was yours, you don’t feel it was the right one. Also, make sure they understand that whatever happens now is up to them.

Take steps for self-care

If they aren’t open to communication still, then take steps for self-care, such as talking about it with trusted friends or family members or seeking counseling if needed, so that when another opportunity for love comes along again, you can approach it from a healthier place next time round.

Erik Pham

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Acknowledge your feelings

It’s important to recognize and acknowledge your feelings in order to move forward. If you regret breaking up with someone, it’s likely that there are a lot of emotions connected to the decision.

It might be sadness, guilt, anger, or all of the above. Take some time to reflect on why you regret the breakup and what you would have done differently.

Reach out to the person

If possible, reach out to the person you broke up with directly.

Apologize for any hurt feelings and make it clear that you regret your decision. Explain why the relationship ended and how you hope to make things right. Reassure them that you still care about them and want to work on the relationship.

Ask for a second chance

If your ex is willing to hear you out, ask for a second chance. Explain why the breakup didn’t work the first time around and how you plan to make it better this time. Be willing to compromise and make changes in order for the relationship to work.

Take things slowly

Take things slowly if your ex agrees to give you a second chance. Don’t expect everything to go back to the way it was before the breakup right away. Spend time getting to know each other again and rebuilding trust.

Move on if needed

If your ex isn’t interested in giving you a second chance, it’s important to accept their decision and move on. Breaking up with someone is never easy, but holding onto something that isn’t meant to be can be even harder. Respect their wishes and take time to heal from the breakup.

Learn from your mistakes

No matter what happens with the relationship, take time to reflect on your mistakes and learn from them. It’s necessary to understand why things didn’t work out and how you can do better in the future. It will help you grow both as a person and a partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the most common reasons someone regrets breaking up with their ex-partner?

There are several reasons why someone regrets breaking up with their ex-partner, for example:

• The feeling of being lonely or unfulfilled after the breakup
• The realization that one still has feelings for the ex-partner
• The belief that ending the relationship was a mistake or that one acted impulsively
• Nostalgia or idealization of the past relationship
• When they see their ex-partner move on, they’re jealous or regret it

Should I try to get back together with my ex-partner if I regret breaking up with them?

Whether you should try to get back together with your ex-partner depends on several factors, such as the reasons you broke up, the current state of your relationship, and whether you’re both willing to work on the issues that led to the breakup. Before you consider getting back together with your ex-partner, there are a few things you should consider:

Reflect on the reasons why you broke up: Consider whether the issues that led to the breakup have been resolved or whether they’ll resurface if you get back together.

Communicate honestly with your ex-partner: Talk to your ex-partner about your feelings and concerns in a respectful and constructive way. Be open to hearing their perspective and be willing to work together to find solutions.

Consider seeking professional help: If you’re struggling with the decision of whether to get back together with your ex-partner, you should see a therapist or counselor. They can advise and support you in dealing with this complex and emotional issue.

Can I still have a relationship with my ex-partner even if I regret breaking up with them?

Whether you can still have a relationship with your ex-partner after you regret the breakup depends on several factors, such as the reasons you broke up, the current state of your relationship, and whether you’re both willing to work on the issues that led to the breakup.

If you decide to continue a relationship with your ex-partner after you have regretted the breakup, there are a few things you should keep in mind:

Communicate openly and honestly: Talk to your ex-partner about your feelings and be open to hearing their perspective and be willing to work together to find solutions.

Address the issues that led to the breakup: If problems in the relationship led to the breakup, try to address them and look for solutions together.

Take it slow: Don’t rush into a relationship with your ex-partner. Take the time to build trust and work on the issues that led to the breakup.

Seek professional help if needed: If you’re having trouble dealing with the complexity of your relationship with your ex-partner, seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can support and help you deal with this complex and emotional issue.

How can I avoid regretting breaking up with someone in the future?

While regretting a breakup is a common experience, there are some things you can do to avoid regret in the future:

Take your time before making a decision: Don’t rush the decision to end a relationship. Take the time to think about your feelings, talk to your partner, and consider the long-term implications of your decision.

Communicate openly and honestly with your partner: Be honest and transparent with your partner about your feelings and concerns in the relationship. Work together to find solutions to any problems that arise.

Address problems as they arise: Don’t let problems or conflicts fester in the relationship. Address them as they arise and work together to find solutions.

Practice self-awareness: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings about the relationship and watch for patterns or behaviors that might be causing problems.

Seek professional help: If you’re having a hard time making a decision in your relationship or are having problems that you can’t solve on your own, you should see a therapist or counselor.

What are warning signs that I might regret breaking up with someone in the future?

Here are some signs that you might regret breaking up with someone in the future:

• Feeling uncertain or hesitant about the decision to break up with someone
• Continually second-guessing or questioning the decision to break up with someone
• Idealizing the past relationship or reminiscing about positive memories
• Feeling a sense of loss or emptiness after the breakup
• Comparing potential future partners to your ex-partner
• Dwelling on what if or what could have been in the relationship
• Feeling jealous or angry when your ex-partner moves on

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What to Do if You Regret Breaking Up With Someone (50+ Tips) (2024)


What to Do if You Regret Breaking Up With Someone (50+ Tips)? ›

Apologize for breaking up and give him a valid reason. Tell him that you want him back in your life, but don't sound too desperate. Since you ended the relationship it is your duty to rekindle it. Remember, break up pain is what he is going through.

How do you get over regret after breaking up with someone? ›

How to handle breakup regrets
  1. Get curious. Ask yourself these questions: Was breaking up an in-the-moment decision? ...
  2. Take a relationship inventory. If you're still searching for clarity, look back. ...
  3. Don't beat yourself up. ...
  4. Get analytical. ...
  5. Use this energy to develop yourself. ...
  6. Break it down and break through. ...
  7. Get closure.
May 24, 2020

How do you tell him you regret breaking up? ›

Apologize for breaking up and give him a valid reason. Tell him that you want him back in your life, but don't sound too desperate. Since you ended the relationship it is your duty to rekindle it. Remember, break up pain is what he is going through.

How long does it take a woman to regret a breakup? ›

When it comes to the average time it takes for your ex-partner to regret losing you, it varies depending on the peculiarity of the situation. Some people might realize the instant they leave the relationship, while it may take weeks, months, or even years for some people to start regretting it.

What percentage of people regret breaking up? ›

Very often, this is just your insecurity talking. Regardless, many of us tend to feel unresolved about whether to pull the trigger on a breakup. As it turns out, breakup remorse is super common. In fact, 39 percent of people have regretted ending a relationship, according to a survey by Elite Singles.

Is it normal to regret breaking up right after? ›

Breakup regret is absolutely normal and more common than we talk about,” says Lindsey Cooper-Berman, AMFT. “There's a comfort in being in a relationship—a security and validation—even if the relationship is really unhealthy or harmful.”

How long does it take to mentally recover from a breakup? ›

Generally speaking, though, Juarez divides break-ups into three tiers based on what she's seen in her practice: To overcome a “big breakup” (a relationship of three to 10 years), it may take six to 12 months; a “mid-breakup” (a relationship of nine months to two years) may take three to six months; and a “mini-breakup” ...

How do you make someone realize your worth after a break up? ›

  1. Keep yourself busy. How to make someone realize your importance in their life? ...
  2. To make him realize your worth, stop texting and calling him. Ignore his calls and texts. ...
  3. Forget to do some of his chores. ...
  4. Express your feelings through your actions. ...
  5. Stop being a pushover. ...
  6. Go out with your friends. ...
  7. Pamper yourself. ...
  8. Start saying no.

How do I make him realize my worth after a break up? ›

How to make him realize your worth and take notice of how awesome you are
  1. Realize your own worth first. ...
  2. Take a step back. ...
  3. Try a little radio silence. ...
  4. Keep yourself occupied. ...
  5. Stop trying to tell him and start showing him his behavior is unacceptable. ...
  6. Learn to say no. ...
  7. Assert your independence. ...
  8. Focus on you and what you enjoy.

How do I know if breaking up was the right thing? ›

You know why you broke up.

Being able to clearly articulate the reasons you broke up — whether your partner was abusive, didn't support your goals, or you wanted different things in life — is a sign that you made the right call. Go back to those reasons if you find yourself questioning your decision.

Who hurts longer after a breakup? ›

While breakups hit women the hardest, they tend to recover more fully. Men, on the other hand, never fully recover. Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also more fully recover, according to new research from Binghamton University.

How long after a breakup is it really over? ›

One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.

How long does the worst part of a breakup last? ›

How long heartbreak lasts. After six weeks most people start to adjust to life without their ex, says Durvasula. “It could be a lot quicker, but typically it's not much longer,” she says. “I tell my clients all the time: Give everything six weeks before you think you are not coping well.”

Who suffers most after a breakup? ›

Despite a lingering stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, researchers have discovered that it's men, in fact, who suffer the greater emotional impact during a breakup.

What type of breakup hurts the most? ›

According to a new study from Cornell University, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the most hurtful breakup comes from being dumped for someone else—scientifically coined as “comparative rejection.” Apparently, out of the many possible reasons to leave a relationship, being traded for ...

Can breaking up save a relationship? ›

Studies tend to show that couples who break up and get back together often end up parting permanently, or are less satisfied in their relationship overall. But as with every good rule, there are exceptions – and in some cases a split can actually be the thing that revives a flagging relationship.

How do you get over a breakup that ended badly? ›

Here, then, are six key suggestions for anyone going through a bad breakup:
  1. Stay away from your ex — as far as you can. ...
  2. Make a list of your ex's bad qualities. ...
  3. Refresh your living space. ...
  4. Take up new activities. ...
  5. Stay healthy. ...
  6. Try mindfulness meditation.
Apr 23, 2018

How long does it take for a dumper to feel regret? ›

Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.

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